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Loosening The Grip

Updated: Aug 14

Here it is. That situation you had hoped would not happen. That feeling you so do not want to feel. Those thoughts you so wish you stopped having. Here it is, the tightening of our grip to control what is out of our control.


Creeping up on 3 weeks since my body has been infiltrated with hives head to toe. As you can imagine, this is not what I had in mind.


It interests me how life can take an unexpected turn within the blink of an eye. Whether it be an unexpected death, an accident, an emergency, a life transition, or in my case, a possible parasite living rent free in my small intestine.


In the midst of these detours, many of us, myself included, will often unconsciously latch onto the desired outcome instead of being with what is. We grip onto the external world in hopes to control the direction we go in, instead of allowing the alternative route to take us to wherever the next destination may be.


What do I mean by this?


I had my schedule mapped out and organized. I was ready to shift gears and grind. I was prepared to work hard and stay focused in order to make the money I need to support myself and my family, and I was ready to bring to life the ideas that bounced against my skull. I was prepared to control what I had power over. However, life, like always, is unpredictable.


My unexpected health issues put a major halt on my plans, and at first, my ego resisted. How was I going to make the money I needed in order to support these unexpected health issues? How was I going to continue to pursue my entrepreneur business when my business has fully shifted onto healing my physical body? How could I bring to life the unlived if I am physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially incapable, at this very moment in time?


I wondered.


I tightened my grip. I resisted the present moment for it did not align with my ideal plans that I had for myself. Just like so many of us do in the midst of chaos.


But what I had to remind myself of was this:


There is an energy that has surfaced in this scenario that must flow through. I cannot move forward and pursue the things that I want to do because in this moment, there is a higher plan for me. For a reason I am still unraveling, I am meant to be where I am supposed to be and my body is expelling what it needs to.


Does this make it any easier?


No and yes.


No because it doesn't dismiss the discomfort of the rash covering my body and it most certainly doesn't fill my pockets with the money I had hoped for.


But also yes, because practicing acceptance is practicing being present. And being present in the moment puts space between me and the movie playing on the big screen.


In simpler terms:


When life presents you with the unexpected, undesired, and unimaginable, there is an energy that must flow, otherwise it would not be here presenting you with the reality you are currently faced with. Oftentimes, humans resist the present moment when their power to control is lacking. When we find ourselves confronted with something that is simply out of our control, we tighten our grip in attempt to take back our power; to control what's out of our control. This applies to not only life experiences, but as well as our very own thoughts and emotions.


When we have a thought, feeling, or situation that makes us uncomfortable, it is natural that we resist. But resistance only fuels the fire of nuisance. Resistance grabs ahold so tightly of what is that there is no room for the energy to flow. The energy not only becomes stuck, but it grows more chaotic, like a tiger being thrown into a cage, because what was a tiger living in nature has now become locked up, unable to move freely like nature intended it to. Freedom is not in the cage, nor is it in the fist of our resistance. Rather, freedom can be found when we can soften our grip, release our fist, and accept what is, whatever it is, in this very moment.


Acceptance does not mean we like or agree with what is happening in our internal or external world. But since it is present, it's going to be here anyways, whether we like it or not. So why not be here with it? Fully and open heartedly? Why not practice acceptance?


For it is acceptance that allows the cage door to open and for the tiger to be set free. It is acceptance that allows the energy to move through you and for the energy outside of you to move in divine timing. Because in truth, the only thing we can control is how we respond to our internal and external world.


May we take back our power by embracing what is. May we control only what is in our control. May we let go and release the need to handle our thoughts, emotions, and situations in a way that is "ideal" to us, and instead may we simply be with what is, just how it is. May we reclaim our sovereign right to freedom by embracing the human experience, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.


You are a co-creator of your reality. May you release what is out of your hands and assert your power where assertion is possible. May you trust that the unexpected detour takes you somewhere even better than you could have imagined.


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